To be Fat Shamed or Not to Be That's the MF'ing Question

What I am about to say may be come across as harsh or rude. In a nut shell, I don't give a hoot! What exactly is "Fat Shaming?" Cambridge Dictionary says "making someone feel embarrassed or ashamed about being fat by publicly criticizing or drawing attention to it." So here's a scenario: basically I'm having one of my good days and here comes some jerk behind me acknowledging to me that i'm severely obese. As if I did not see that I was just that morning. He then starts to rant or record with his camera phone while laughing and posts it to his social media account to get all of his friends to also poke fun and laugh at his disgust of how I look. Right?

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 So everyone is having a blast making up fat jokes right? But guess what I don't see it, so why is it my business what idiots do in their spare time? Fat shaming to me is a term that people use when they feel bad about themselves and how they look. Like "job shamers" are just jerks who poke fun at people who make less money than them.

Here is the scoop, It's not fat shamming if you are not ashamed of your body. Learn to pick your battles. Fuck what other people say and what they think of you. Everybody deals with some sort of battle. If being skinny was the shit, why are sooo many of them dying with fat related illnesses? I'll tell you why, They skinny as hell on the outside, but their insides are obese as fuck! They commonly say "Oh i'm skinny, I can eat whatever I want and not gain." Bullshit, let me tell you what your ass is gaining, diabetes, clogged arteries, heart failure, heart attacks, poor oxygenated blood because of all that sludge in your damn veins! You are a ticking time bomb too!

 Oh don't think just because you eat kale and organic shit and low carbs and exercise 12 hours a week that its a good thing. Your body is a science and each person's body need certain things and if it doesn't get them it starts to borrow. Or if it gets too much of something and doesn't excrete it out of your system it becomes toxicity or acidic! An acidic body brings cancers and other illnesses! You need certain things to thrive and live longer. So no being skinny just appeals the eye. Just like us you cannot eat everything or exclude from everything you eat. So being skinny is not the business boo boo! Why are some of them the worst daters? Or why are some of them seeking love and are single? Why are they the most unhappy people at times? You skinny, you should be yelling from the top of the mountains how great you are or how great it is to be skinny! Being skinny does not exclude you from lookers, bullies, haters, abuse, car accidents, bullets, etc. You aren't excluded from diabetes, heart disease, cancers, etc. No one can look at an obese person and say "you are going to die in 2 days from an heart attack." No i'm not saying do not strive for longevity, yes you want to stay healthy or get healthy, however nothing is promised. The good Creator upstairs already knows when your time is ending and how long you will be on this earth.

Now there are somethings, in my opinion, that we do, that have consequences linked to them, that will cause us to prematurely die before our time, so we have to get in a mindset that's in the direction of being healthy all together. Did you know that you can improve you life expectancy just by adding a 30 minute walk? If you can't walk that long, then do some legs lifts in a chair. Get to YouTube for some free exercises to do in your home. (see) Basically get your ass moving for 30 minutes or more a day! What that does it improves the circulation in your upper and lower extremities, get that Heart regulated and getting more oxygenated blood that our organs so desperately needs. (see ex. Article) Plus it improves mentally health. Eat more veges and proteins, basically a more balanced diet.

Also use a damn condom! AIDS is wiping us out! I screwed up a few and had sex without a condom and trust me I panic for months taking tests. That damn Hennessy!! LOL Know who you have in your life and always be in tune with your surroundings. Death can happen many ways. What i'm saying is live your life!  Always seek happiness. No one is perfect. Throw the whole term "Fat Shaming" away. There is nothing wrong with you boo! LIVE and LET LIVE!! We have to end this bullying. Our children are taking their lives and not living because of the bullshit they see us do.

My journey update

Feb 2018 535lbs  vs August 2018 470lbs. 

I realized i'm extremely hard on myself. I don't praise myself for any kind of accomplishment. It's always yes I did this, working out, eating right, but i'm still fat. Plus society will constantly remind you of the flaws they think you have. I call them battle scars. Sometimes that constant reminder can affect me negatively. I have to work on how I view myself. I'm a gift from God. I am worthy of love and support. I am successful. I am loved. No matter my trials and my tribulations. I will be victorious as I'm still trusting this process. I'm confident and strong and most of all I am beautiful. I've had some set backs, but I've also had comebacks too....I just have to remain focused and keep looking forward.

My Journey

So I started changing the way I eat and exercise, I reached out to a few people that will add to my weigh-tloss. So far I've lost a total of 54lbs. I began again i February 2018. My desire is to be 280lbs. I can honestly say my energy level has gone up and I'm able to do more. Its a process of course.

What To Expect With Weightloss

via Cosmopolitan.com

Once you figured out why you gained weight and why you have a bad relationship with food. On to the actual diet. So far i'm down 58lbs. I will go into more depth of what I do if requested. I started off at 535lbs. Now its not my first rodeo at 535lbs. I lost 252lb before. However I was on depo shot for 4 years and I gained a significant amount of weight, then I got pregnant with my son gained more. Then I started hating the way I looked. I was broke and not thinking if I lost the weight first then I can work on the excess skin later. I was so emotional about it, that I started gaining the weight back thinking I would look like my pre-weight. It made it worse. I can go into depth another time. What i'm suggesting is to try not to focus on the skin. Lose the weight, by doing anaerobic cardio and weight training. Also your diet will help you increase the skin reduction. Again let me know if want me to go more in depth about it. It's doing wonders for my excess skin. The best advice I can give you is to save your money. Get a separate bank account just to save up for the skin removal surgery, because its hard to get the insurance companies to approve the surgery. There is one way that I know, if you all want me to write some suggestion I will. How I know, I have a been a nurse case manager for the last 6 years. But what I can tell you documentation from the physician is majority of the time the reason the requests are denied. Good luck

How Do You Know It's Time To Lose Weight??

Most of the people in this current time, deal with issues of weight, but how do you when its time for to get in-shape? Everyone around you will let you know about your weight, your body will let you know and most importantly your own heart will let you know it's time to lose the weight.  

Daily people will remind you that you are overweight. Especially family and strangers.The only person that matters when its time is You! You are the person that should initiate weight-loss. And your reasons that you are wanting to lose the weight should be taken to heart. 

Write down your reasons you want to get healthy. Like was it for health problems, for clothing, to get a better career, to be liked, to find love or to live longer. Whatever is motivating you, it should be a healthy reason. Not, for instance, to get people to like you. 

You have to ask yourself these questions and plan it out and I would suggest seek counseling to help you find the root of your weight gain. What made you lose control in  the first beginning, that made you gain the weight. As you can see this picture is of me. I'm at this point in my life. I desire to lose the weight, however recently I realized I was attempting to lose weight for all the wrong reasons, which is why I went back to old habits. No one gets over 300, 4400, 500lbs or more just because they want to. Majority of the time it's an out of control cry because of some tragic event. 

I would advise you first to research why you started eating, what type of eater are you, meaning do you binge eat or emotionally eat? Why are you so emotional? What does food do for you that no other thing/person can do to satisfy you? Are you losing weight for you only? What are your goals for weight loss? Your goal should never be to be happy. Weight loss will not make you happy. It opens up more opportunities and makes you more less noticeable. You have to fall in love with who you are now versus when you lose weight. You are setting yourself up for failure if you don't. You have to prepare yourself emotionally. 

However the moment you get a handle on your emotions, forgave the ones that hurt you, tackled why you have an unhealthy relationship with food, and are loving yourself as you are, then you are ready to be successful with weight-loss. Forget what others thinks and don't get too caught up in the amount of weight someone else lost in their 1st week or in 1 year. You have focus on what your body can do. You are your own competition. 

Making Changes To My Life

So I'm at this pivotal point in my life where change is necessary. We get to a place in life where we say, "If I don't make this change my soul will die." Have you ever been there? It's like you set out to accomplish a goal. Everything from the beginning to the end is mapped out. You thought of ever scenario and you them embark on that plan. Then next think you know the rug is pulled out from under you and life begins to have its way with you. Then you are left crying, upset, and questioning the existence of our creator. You are alone and you have no one to turn too. What do you do?

Now this is the time where you see who can handle what? You may have someone try to drown out their sorrows with drugs or alcohol. You may have someone check out on life. You may have someone attempt to take there own lives. You may have someone take someone else's life. Most, either wither away and go into a deep depression or they fight for what they believed in.

See I've tried A-Z!!! I decided that i'm fighting for what I believe in!  You made that goal. Go back and look at your list. See what you listed, check off what you accomplished. The things you have not accomplished or failed at, go back and write down why didn't that work. Next, ask yourself "What can I do to make it work?" That's when you consult with God first. He already knows the answer, truthfully He should have been contacted first! But consult Him and don't give up. Keep pushing beyond measures, you will make it. CHANT: I will make!! (smile) You may need to look at your surroundings and see what's holding you back. Maybe your friends you had from childhood may not be measuring up to where you are trying to go. Put your faith first. You Second. Husband and Kids Third. Your Business next and everyone else.

I know must people would say no my momma or daddy is first or second. Your momma and daddy already had a good life. You cannot be nothing to yourself or your family, if you don't keep divisions out of it! Morally, yes you take care of your parents and everyone else, but you have a responsibility to  God, your spouse and your children. Therefore you become first,after God. You cannot take care of anyone else until you take care of you. That's where i'm at! In so many words, Fuck everybody else!!!! I gave them all that I can give!!